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Woke up in a thoroughly foul mood this morning. Decided it was time to analyse what was pissing me off. The answer is, somewhat surprisingly, me. I have no money because I always spend it on ridiculous things or fritter it away when I should be more careful. I have a job I hate because I'm too gutless to leave it. I have *stuff* I haven't done because I'm too lazy, scared or just plain apathetic. Basically it all adds up to a whole lot of me getting in my own way. Well, let's see what we can do about that...
This afternoon I quit smoking again. I ran out of fags and couldn't justify spending the money on another packet. I don't give a rat's arse about any other reasoning, that's enough for me. Tonight I will properly tidy the flat, fix the bed and clean the whole damn place. I don't mind mess, it doesn't bother me in the slightest, which is something of a problem. I *should* mind mess, I should have a place for everything and everything in its place. This will happen. Also tonight I will fill in the forms for the student loans people, get them their required 3 months payslips and bung that in the post. This will make my finances considerably less crippled. As of tomorrow I will be making my own lunch instead of spending money I don't have on expensive food I generally can't be arsed with anyway. At some point I will go to my mother's and empty out my cupboards. Whatever is in good nick and worth anything more than a couple of pence is going on ebay, whatever isn't is going in the bin. Finally, I'm going to start forcing myself to do something productive every night, instead of just sitting around on IRC. Even if it's just going for a walk, or writing, or doing a bit of code, it doesn't matter, it's getting something done that counts. I don't finish enough things. I should start less and finish more, and spend less time pissing about.
So, that's what I'm going to do.
This afternoon I quit smoking again. I ran out of fags and couldn't justify spending the money on another packet. I don't give a rat's arse about any other reasoning, that's enough for me. Tonight I will properly tidy the flat, fix the bed and clean the whole damn place. I don't mind mess, it doesn't bother me in the slightest, which is something of a problem. I *should* mind mess, I should have a place for everything and everything in its place. This will happen. Also tonight I will fill in the forms for the student loans people, get them their required 3 months payslips and bung that in the post. This will make my finances considerably less crippled. As of tomorrow I will be making my own lunch instead of spending money I don't have on expensive food I generally can't be arsed with anyway. At some point I will go to my mother's and empty out my cupboards. Whatever is in good nick and worth anything more than a couple of pence is going on ebay, whatever isn't is going in the bin. Finally, I'm going to start forcing myself to do something productive every night, instead of just sitting around on IRC. Even if it's just going for a walk, or writing, or doing a bit of code, it doesn't matter, it's getting something done that counts. I don't finish enough things. I should start less and finish more, and spend less time pissing about.
So, that's what I'm going to do.