That Monday morning feeling

I'm sitting at my desk, trying to put off the moment where I actually start work, because that will mean, unequivocally, that the weekend is over.

I came to realise, this weekend, that I am never likely to do all of the things I set myself as goals on any given weekend, no matter how much time I give myself to do them. It seems to simply not be in my nature. I've still not so much as started my csscgc entry (though, admittedly, I've probably got until some time in March next year for that), I've not done my second assignment, or sorted out the requirements for starting it (I should find some crappy general interest rags and plunder them for hints on what they expect from submitted articles, but I can't bring myself to actually buy one of the dreadful things), in general, I've totally failed to get anything worthwhile (except my washing) done this weekend. On top of all this I should really be making some attempt to find someone to spend my life with, if I want to do it at all, and, as a project, that is going precisely nowhere. Not that I've tried. Unfulfilled potential is what my life is all about. Maybe just unfulfilled, without the potential bit, I don't know. I think I could do with one of those gurus to come and tell me how to sort my life out, because I haven't the faintest clue what I'm doing.

Rambling self-pity aside, I think I've become addicted to afp. It was a mere curiosity before, but once you start to actively participate in the madness, it becomes inescapable. The attraction is, if anything, stronger than that of css, which is, as everyone knows, very much like a certain hotel in an Eagles song. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Nicked from Random

My Inner Age
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I don't particularly like being 25. It's done nothing but suck so far. I think I'd much rather be 7 or 8. Whatever age I was when I got Optimus Prime for Christmas. That was cool....

Why I hate my job #32533

I am extremely annoyed at the moment, so if this post seems a little over-dramatic, that's why. I'm fed up of this job. I hate people! Why did I decide it would be a good idea for me to work in an office environment?

I'm sick and tired of one person in particular. He's got a chip on his shoulder that would have sunk the Titanic and he always has to be right. Unfortunately, 99% of the time he's wrong.

He's renowned for getting up on his soap box about one issue or another and he lives in constant, and highly public, fear that he's about to lose his job. He isn't about to lose his job, more's the pity.

He accused me of sucking up to the boss today, because I consistently back him in his arguments against this guy's ill-informed, childish rants. I have to admit to having been totally taken aback. If there's one thing I won't do, it's suck up to anyone. Can you imagine an ego the size of mine doing that? It was a complete fantasy, all spewing forth in technicolour from his self-important, pig-ignorant head.

I don't know if you've ever experienced complete and utter fury and been completely unable to do anything about it, but that's what's just happened. What could I do? In the end all I could do was reiterate that I did what I did and I said what I said because I believed them, not because I was attempting to wind him up, personally, and not because I was attempting to curry favour. Why would I need to? My job isn't under threat. Just because he thinks his is, doesn't mean the rest of us give a rat's arse. He actually suggested we should go to the car park and have a fight! He's forty four for fuck's sake! I'd have killed him! Dickhead.

I'm sorely tempted to quit.

I hate this environment. It's endemic in Wigan. It's a town of luddites and morons.

I hate people in general. They're so bloody-minded and stupid. They refuse to think about things. They're all about knee-jerk reactions, group politics and gossip. Why can't people be like they are in CSS, or AFP, or any number of other online forums (and I'm using the general sense of forum, anyone who replies to tell me that both of those are newsgroups has both missed the point and is part of the problem I'm describing)? Why does real life have to be the kind of sick joke that it is? Above all else, isn't there some way to live my life where I can minimise my contact with human beings? I'm going to end up going on a killing spree sooner or later otherwise.

My blood pressure seems to be returning to normal for the moment.

Does anyone else have days when the entire world seems to be some twisted joke at your expense?