Why life is hard when you're a dreamer

Stephen Fry gave a quote from a James Bond book on QI the other day, and I think it's rather clever. It goes something like this: "For Bond, the best drink of the day was the one he had in mind before the first drink of the day". The same is true of many things. The smartest thing you'll ever say is the thing you don't say. The best novel you'll ever write is the one you have in your head before you begin to commit it to paper and it all goes to hell. The mind's picture of a thing is often more pleasing than the thing itself could ever be.

I imagine a great many things long before they ever get a chance to happen. Often they never happen at all. Consequently life is always something of a disappointment. I've scripted a hundred thousand conversations in my head, and had a mere handful turn out as anticipated. I can picture myself doing all the things I've ever wanted to do, but I know that, even if they happen, they'll just be a shadow of how I dreamt of them.

Maybe it's just time to stop dreaming.

This evening I would like...

To be stood by a large bonfire, watching fireworks and flames, feeling cold at the back and warm at the front, and holding a smaller, gloved hand in mine, fingers interlocking as if they'd been made that way and couldn't possibly be otherwise. I'd like to be able to see my breath and feel the muscles in my face ache from smiling. For bonus points it should also be extremely clear, to the point where shooting stars are easily visible and the sky isn't so much black as a shade of blue there isn't a name for. Maybe if I imagine it hard enough, I won't miss it so much when it doesn't happen. I'm going to dream it anyway, I may as well make it a good one.

*sigh*

Oooooh...

Well, I'm watching the fireworks, but it's out of my window, rather than by a bonfire, and there's neither crackly warmth, nor a hand to hold. It's not too bad though. I have Guinness, I'm saving electricity 'cos the lights are out, and I think I'm rather enjoying it, all in all.