Tight as fuck? Moi?

I'm an apparently intelligent, liberal, tight as fuck, relatively well adjusted human being!
What are you?
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A snapshot of life at my place of work

We're prone to random outbursts of such things as communal humming, miscellaneous quotage and occasional (bad) impersonations here. It takes the edge off the mind-numbing boredom and lack of adequate pay. Anyway, for some light relief I just came out with "It's too orangey for crows, it's just for me and my dog!" in my best Kia-Ora falsetto. The response from across the room was a deep bass "I'll be your dog!".

We need help.