Names meme (why not, eh?)

Pinched from so many sources it probably doesn't matter anymore.

If you call me Adam, you're most likely one of my parents or (ugh!) a customer
If you call me Adam Jonathan Short, you are my mother and are mad at me.
If you call me GordonDavidBrianLionelPhilipChristopherElliotJock...Adam, you're my Grandma, and you're ever so slightly fuddled since one of the above has been dead for 25 years, one is a baby and another is a dog (also deceased).
If you call me AJ, you're my mother and think you're cool.
If you call me Bruv, you're my brother, and also called Bruv.
If you call me Shorty, you are most likely a co-worker or a friend I've known for a very long time.
If you call me Hippy, goth-boy, my fuzzy friend, Angel, Spike, Batman, guru, college-boy or Wolverine you are a co-worker and I probably hate you.
If you call me Adamy-wadamy-plant-pot, you are Becky, and nutty as a fruitcake.
If you call me Beast, you are Jon or Matt, and I've no idea where you got that from. I am not blue.
If you call me Orinoco you could be anyone I've met on the internet since 1996.
If you call me Ori, the same applies, but you know me rather better. You are therefore probably Dave, Mal, Tiff, Bluebottle, numerous other cssers or the lovely Random.
If you call me Orrrrrrrrry, you are Scrib.
If you call me 'noco, you are most likely Nattie, or several other afpers and cssers.
If you call me 'noko, you are Hunter, and adept at inserting ks where they don't belong.
If you call me Hotmadras, you know me via one of the few fora where both orinoco and orinoco77 were taken. I apologise for the confusion.

I've probably forgotten several.

[edit]
Just been to mother's and realised I've forgotten one:
If you eschew all naming conventions and acknowledge my presence by jumping on my knee and licking my nose, you are Snowy...

...or possibly Random.